Greetings from our CEO

Scott WallaceGreetings!

I’m Scott Wallace, creator and CEO of the Hei Shui Corporation. If you can read this, you feel good, because only the best and brightest can be part of the Hei Shui Way.  

As we move forward into the next fiscal year, I’m proud to announce that starting tomorrow, January 1st, 2095, a new agreement between our corporation and the federal government means that all Hei Shui employees can be fast-tracked to qualify for licenses to reproduce. That’s right! No more inconvenient forms, DNA swabs, or waiting periods. You’re already part of the corporation. As long as you agree to remain here in perpetuity, and you’re living in an approved relationship, your energy can build the next bright generation.

If you’re not already in an approved relationship, sign up for our Pairing Program today. Improved housing, education, nutrition, healthcare, and entertainment opportunities exist for those who become part of the program as well.

Together, not only will we create a living legacy, but we’ll also create a perfect army to preserve the future of the planet.

This has been a message from the Hei Shui Corporation, intended to be heard and understood by Hei Shui Employees only. All offspring created via the Hei Shui Reproductive License Fast Track program are subject to the terms and conditions of the Hei Shui Corporation in perpetuity. Other persons or other life forms hearing and understanding this message who are not employees of the Hei Shui Corporation are expected to forget it immediately. Any attempt to repeat, share, use, or otherwise act on this message will be regarded as corporate sabotage and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Copyright December 2094, The Hei Shui Corporation. Only the best and brightest can be part of the Hei Shui Way.

 

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